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A thought that you believe to be true. The "facts" are completely fabricated and are supported by zero empirical evidence whatsoever. The only qualifier is that you believe the fact to be true.
Methodically learning another person's routine in order to systematically avoid them.
The inability to remember to plug a cell phone in to recharge occasionally, thus resulting in a battery-dead device.
A loud English-speaking person, typically American.
A member of the media who will alter their story and reporting based on financial interests or other ties with usually partisan individuals or groups.
Try to break your habit of turning to anonymous sources for general advice on your problems.
Taurus (4/20 - 5/20):
You'll finally open up about your innermost hopes and dreams this week, though the whole thing will be pretty hard to hear with everyone laughing so damn hard.
Gemini (5/21 - 6/20):
Your imagination is the limit! Try visualizing what your future would look like as head garbageman!
Lately it seems all your imaginary friends just want to sit around all day and watch television.
Scientists around the world will come to praise you as a true trailblazer in the field of Incorrect Particle Physics.
You'll finally get into shape this week, though which one exactly, isn't clear yet.
Forty thousand years after you were cryogenically frozen, scientists will at last bring you back to life when they discover a cure for stupidity.
Clear and direct communication is key to a successful marriage. Try ending all of your domestic exchanges with "Roger that, good buddy."
Please stop insisting you have nothing left to live for. The phrase you’re looking for is “never had a reason to live.”
Your two pack-a-day habit will finally kill you this week, but then, that's a lot of wolves to fight off.
When life gives you lemons, why not blame them on your troubled upbringing and consequent inability to show affection? It sure beats making lemonade.
Sometimes in life you just have to march right in there, introduce yourself, fight off a couple of rather large security guards, and demand a raise.
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