Homes For Sale
When times are tough and the world around you seems grim, don't be afraid to turn to religion for a good, hearty laugh.
Taurus (4/20 - 5/20):
You will experience debilitating pain, unspeakable agony, and the loss of all of your hair when a voodoo doll bearing your likeness falls into the hands of a 5-year-old girl.
Gemini (5/21 - 6/20):
Enlightenment and confusion will both be yours this week, when a tree falls in the woods only to make the sound of one hand clapping.
You'll finally become one with nature this week, thanks to a simple process known only as disintegration.
Wilderness sports may be growing in popularity, but people are not yet ready to appreciate your expertise at trout-shotgunning.
There's nothing harder in the world than losing a child, especially when wagering with a full house.
Despite seemingly insurmountable odds, you will once again manage to talk your way out of sounding interesting this week.
Millions will be rescued this week when the Red Cross deploys thousands of desperately needed words to the site of an unspeakable tragedy.
It will be born with ten perfect little fingers and ten perfect little toes, much to the horror of everyone at the reptile breeding center.
Your perfectionist streak will consume you this week when you attempt to posit the world's single most precise chaos theory.
Your inquisitive nature will soon see you demanding answers to a series of questions ranging from "Huh?" to "Who the-?" and "Whazzat?
Don't take it personally: Someone had to be the cutoff point for who does and doesn't get on the Emergency Earth-Escape Rocket.
Glory Hole Photo Album